Change is inevitable
Thursday, December 15, 2011 at 2:52 AM
I once read about a Buddhist teaching that taught non-attachment. Nothing lasts forever and everything is always changing. Even something as solid as a mountain, who may stand unscathed for thousands of years may one day disappear. To be happy is to accept everything. When you are extremely happy, don’t bathe and indulge oneself in it so much. Accept this moment of happiness and move on as it does not last forever. Disappointment or some form of sadness is just around the corner. But have no fear as this too, will pass. It may be for a few minutes, hours, days or months but do not worry as happiness is also just lurking around the corner. Although when we are sad, it may seem as though things will never get better but trust me, they do.
So I was laying in bed at 2am in the morning thinking. In just a matter of hours, I had realised that I am no longer a significant part of a certain persons life, despite once being very close. This is obviously very typical. I am sure that every human on this planet will experience this realisation at least once in their lifetime. What I write here will probably be nothing new to you but I’m hoping that in between the lines, you may learn something you didn’t know or be opened to a new dimension of thinking. Whatever it is, I am merely writing down thoughts which come to my head. And let me warn you, words will propel from my mind at great ease which as a result, more reading for you, if you can be bothered.
Back to what I was saying, before I was side-tracked. Oh, which brings me to another note. I am easily side-tracked as my thoughts fly off in many directions so please mind that. Anyway..humans can be stubborn. Sometimes our brain are so caught up in the moment; so indulged that the future they see will be unchanged and no different to the present which they are living in. Let me explain. A child who is five years old will think that Superman is the most amazing person on this planet. He will see no flaws in him, however as he grows older, he grows out of it and will one day look back and just won’t see Superman the way he did at the time he was five. He’s now seventeen and believes that he will definitely spend the rest of his life being a lawyer. He’s very determined. He wishes to fight crime and injustice. He will do whatever it takes to get there and nothing will stop him. He studies extremely hard, making it into law school, finishing and then begins work in a firm. He loves his work and really cannot see himself doing anything else. But suddenly, one day…after an overseas trip, after meeting some people, he asks himself if this is really what he wants to do. So after much confusion, he decides to go back to university and study to become something else.
At the same age, he meets a beautiful girl. She is pretty, smart, funny and this is who he thinks he is going to marry. She is perfect and he can’t see himself being with anyone else. But you see, it is rare that these plans actually follow through. At the time, it may seem like it is the only thing that you could possibly want but how do we know exactly? What gurantees us 100% that the future you, let’s say..ten years from now will still want the same thing?
It could be a matter of seconds or minutes that may change our thoughts and our desires. A simple encounter, a few words or sometimes a few years. Whatever it is, humans, we are prone to change. Our thoughts are never solid and we can never promise another or ourselves that things will never change. People who you were once close to will maybe one day, without a proper explanation simply tell you that they do not feel the same way anymore. Sometimes, an old friend will suddenly be distant and act differently. They suddenly don’t like you anymore. We then go through a phase of blaming it on them or oneself. One wonders why things can’t be like they used to be. Oh, how many times you’ve heard that right? We hold so tightly to the things of the past, refusing to let go. Wondering why things had to change like they did. Why the person at one point in time, felt like your bestest best friend or the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with suddenly decided to leave.
It’s okay to be sad about it, it’s okay to ponder. But what I’ve come to learn is to not blame the person. Remember, change is inevitable and sometimes if we could, we wished we hadn’t change. We wish we still felt the same way about someone or something. But truth is, we don’t, despite not exactly being able to comprehend why. And remember, yes it hurts. It makes us feel like we don’t want to open up to anyone anymore. Why open up to someone if you know that change is inevitable? Why do it if knowingly that someone will change in the near of far future? It’s because we are humans. These lessons are what makes us human. And if we change our mind about things like our career, it's okay too. Don't let others blame you for changing.
Throughout our lives, we will lose loved ones, whether it be our family or our significant other. Unexpected crises will arise that could in a split second change your life completely. However, the better we are at accepting that almost everything in our lives are temporary, the easier it will be to accept change and hence, disappointments.
Labels: buddhism, change, disappointment, happiness, life, loss, love